Tag: mindset

Thoughts

Random Tidbits for Inspiration

Pamela

The following are tidbits of inspirational thoughts and concepts to consider in your day-to-day life. My hope is to begin you on a journey of adjusting your mindset to achieve personal growth. These have inspired me throughout my own journey.

  1. When facing something new, or something you know you should do, remove the word “try” from your vocabulary. The word “try” gives you an out when you let rampant thoughts talk you out of something. You will say, “Well, at least I tried.” It doesn’t put into your subconscious that you are going to do it. It is an absolute maybe I will. Speak into the Universe that you “will” do something. There are no excuses to be had. No thoughts to combat your plan to achieve it. It is happening. So say, “I will… “, “I am going to…” Do not leave any room for excuses because it is going to happen.
  2. Separate your emotions and your beliefs from that of others. Sit with yourself and understand what is yours. What are true to your beliefs, your desires, your convictions. When you understand who you are as a person, you are able to protect your heart from others ill will intentions. You are able to set up healthy boundaries and not let the emotions of others affect how you feel in the moment. Understand their actions toward you are about them, not you. You do not have to take on the ugliness of the world because it is not yours to have. Others will lash out at you when they are not at peace with themselves. They are not happy in life and their well-being is off balance. It is not up to you to accept their treatment, or to take on their emotions as your own. I understand sometimes people will upset you because of how they treat you. Working customer service is a prime example of this because many come into the establishment on guard and ready to fight. We all know the “Karen’s” in the world. (I hate that term since I have a sister named Karen and she is NOT one! I need to put that out there.) They will curse, say rude comments, and yell in hopes of getting what they want. But in all honesty, their behavior goes far beyond being upset over something trivial. This does not mean it is yours to keep. Understand how you feel in that moment is not yours, release it from your heart, and be at peace with yourself. It is not an easy practice, but necessary to navigate in such a broken world we live in at this moment. When I come in contact with a situation that gets me off-balance, Take a moment to close your eyes, quieten your mind, and get back in check with your own feelings and peace.
  3. Happiness is a choice. It is not a circumstance, material possessions, the perfect life. It is the choice that despite your surroundings, you choose to be happy and at peace with love in your heart. Even when everything seems to be going wrong, it is important to view these things as life lessons and keep love and happiness in your heart. You will see the situations in a clearer aspect and be better able to overcome any and all obstacles. If you sit with fear and worry, that is what the Universe will give you. If you sit with love and peace in your heart, the Universe will send higher vibrational solutions, outcomes, answers. You will begin to find that obstacles in your life are easier to overcome and solutions are readily available to you. So, you can choose to let life swallow you up, feel sorry for yourself and make choices that will certainly send you further into a rabbit hole, or you can view it as a life lesson and hold love and happiness in your heart while overcoming it and using it to better your life and possibly pass on your findings to others to spread hope. Choices are what the universe calls “free will” and we all have it. It is up to you what you will do with it. Love and happiness will send you on the path to your purpose.

I hope you find these tidbits helpful and that you will utilize them in your life to create positive changes. I will continue to post these and I will blog more in-depth looks into them as time goes on. This is an example of taking the hits in life and using them as lessons for growth and passing them on to others for inspiration. If you find this helpful and you plan on using these in your day-to-day life, please comment below! I love hearing from others. And feel free to share this blog on your social media pages to spread love and knowledge.

General Thoughts

Happiness, It’s Your Choice

Pamela

If I were to ask you what happiness is, what would your answer be? Or when do you think you will be happy? Before reading this, post below your answer. And after reading, post a reply to how your thoughts about it have changed. I’m so curious to hear if your ideas are parallel to mine.

My emotions have always been what I equate to as a rollercoaster ride. Ups, downs, and sideways while screaming along the way. I believed that one day “I’ll be happy when…” It was attached to something or someone. Happiness was this time far away where everything that I imagined would create a happy life would happen. And BAM, I’m happy! Well, along the way, nothing ever seemed right and happiness would never befall me. Something would be out of place and not as I pictured. Or, I would achieve soemthing and realize, wait, I don’t feel happy. What happened??!!

Do you feel like you are in a rat race chasing the feeling of happy? Always creating a vision and picturing what your life would look like in order to be happy? That magic day where everything is sunshine and roses?? Well, I’m here to burst the bubble of your vision of achieving happiness. Sorry! I had to learn it the hard way and I am here to hopefully save you the trouble of searching and searching and searching for it.

So what is not the epitome of happiness. It is not attached to material things like a big house, a fancy car, or nice clothes. A lot of money in the bank isn’t going to bring you true happiness either. I’ve met the most miserable rich people and on the flip side, the happiest homeless people. How about finding the perfect job, or the love of your life? Nope, not there either. Only if I could go sit on the beach with a margarita in my hand and that will be just perfect. I’m sure we have all pictured that with a smile on our face.

Of course all these things will bring you joy, smiles, and laughter. You will feel happy in the moment, but what is the problem with this? And yes, there is a problem with it. Life happens and it isn’t always pretty. We have lessons at every point of our lives and all these materialistic things can be gone in a moments notice. And then what? You jump back on that emotional rollercoaster ride and back on the search again.

The basis of true happiness is simply within you. When you can sit in an empty room all by yourself and feel joy, you have achieved it. Even when nothing seems right and everything is wrong, you can still have love, joy and peace in your heart. That happiness is everlasting. You will become better equipped to handle the down times. You will keep your smile and be able to laugh. Don’t get me wrong, we will have times of sadness, anger, grief and just break down and cry. But you don’t stay there and your happy is still attainable in your heart. It isn’t attached to anything fleeting. I accept these emotions and feel them but I still have a lightness in my heart and know down deep I have love for myself and life. When I have processed my feelings, I’m good.

How do you get to this point I’m sure is your next question. I had to understand that I had to let go of things that I cannot control. There are times in your life when something goes wrong, but you ask yourself, is there anything I can do to stop this? Can I control the outcome of this situation? If the answer is no, then you deal with it and don’t attach your overall feelings to it. Let it be. Keep your love for life and take it as a life lesson. I’ve had times of being close to losing my home or my car. Rather than falling into deep despair, I still had lightness in my heart and focused on the things I could do to get through it. Years before when I did lose my house and had nowhere to go, I would break down to the point of not accomplishing anything and caused me to snowball out of control into depression and Anorexia Nervosa as ways to cope. I later learned, that wasn’t working and realized the universe has always provided for me. I look at everything now as my path of lessons and times when I am being pushed out of a comfortable situation, I know it is because more is out there for me.

Your past and your future are big issues in a persons overall happiness. Worrying about either causes anxiety and fear. Both are low vibrations and the universe will not provide for you in those states because it doesn’t match your full potential. Your human existence is about life lessons and if you aren’t learning from these and keeping love in your heart, you will not following your life purpose. When I am able to let go of my past and be in the moment, I feel happiness. Love is the highest vibration and where the universe provides for you. I put my focus in all I want to achieve and no matter what happens, I feel joy, love, and true happiness. Life feels so much lighter. I do not feel like I have a huge bolder on my shoulders holding me down. I don’t stress and become overwhelmed with anxiety and fear. Fear is the thief of joy.

Let go and let be. Be in the moment. I know it sounds impossible, but shifting your mindset and understanding of what brings true happiness is worth the work. Understanding there is a time to let go of the past because we cannot change it, only learn from it. And the future will be laid out for you when you are in the moment with love in your heart. Your path will open for you. Stop attaching the “I will be happy when” to everything. Happiness is a CHOICE. Every day you wake up, you make the choice to be happy despite what the day brings. You also never give others the power to change how you feel. To steal your joy. If you allow the ugliness of others steal your joy, then it is YOU allowing it! Making these changes in your life, you will begin to see you make better choices for yourself. You will want to take care of you because you love yourself. This practice is so freeing and uplifting!

Here are two things you can do to start bringing yourself into the moment of now and working on your mindset. It is work, but well worth it. No one can make you do these things. You have to want it for yourself. Let me know how it goes for you and what changes you make in your life.

  1. Every day, have a motivational speech ready to play as soon as you wake up. The firsts 20 minutes of your day set up your mindset for how your day goes. There are wonderful motivational speakers and inspirational podcasts on YouTube. While getting ready for your day, play one.
  2. Start meditating! I cannot stress this one enough. Meditation brings you into the “Now.” Brings you into the moment. You are not thinking about the past and not worrying about the future. If quiets your mind and helps heal your soul. Again, YouTube has wonderful guided meditations. I am working to provide some for you in the near future so be sure to follow my YouTube channel. Also read my blog about meditation.

These are wonderful ways to begin your journey in healing! Listening to motivational/inspirational speeches is honestly how it all began for me. Even the days I just didn’t feel like it. I did it anyway. Today, I rarely watch tv and have replaced it by playing meditational music, Native American flute music, nature sounds or sound baths. It brings me peace. And in peace there is happiness.

It will not happen overnight. Begin your journey with kindness towards yourself. Allow yourself to feel the emotions you have been avoiding in order to process them and free yourself from any and all judgements. Just don’t stay in those down moments. It’s ok to cry, get angry, feel the disappointments and hurt. By letting go, you will be a step closer to peace in your life. It is work, but it is the most gratifying work you will ever do and you will thank yourself for it!

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General Thoughts, Thoughts, Topics

God, Jesus and the Bible

Pamela

This is only the beginning of a journey of knowledge and understanding….

This is going to be a touchy subject that will shake many people. In polite conversations, you leave out subjects about politics and religion. But, because I am digging deep into the meaning of life, I feel the need to rattle some cages. This isn’t an attempt to change your mind, tell you that your way of thinking is all wrong. It is only, hopefully, a thought-provoking conversation. I believe life is exciting because of the questions we ask. Not only in the answers we find.

Although I have been questioning religion for years, especially after the death of my son in 1996, it has only been the last year that I have discovered a whole new outlook on everything. Many aspects of religion did not sit well with me on many levels, so I have felt driven to understand it all on a whole new level.

I grew up going to church with my Granny. We went to the Salvation Army church in Norfolk, Va. I enjoyed the classroom studies of all the Bible stories and, even at a young age, loved the giving nature surrounding me. They were very driven to help others in any way possible. Once in middle school, I stopped attending church and did not go again until I was married and with children up in Connecticut. Everything felt different at that point. The messages weren’t the same, and everything seemed more agenda based or self-serving. After my son passed away, I quite honestly became bitter toward God and anything to do with Church. Between the changes in their message delivery and the horrible letdown I felt with the death of my 3 year old son, I just couldn’t deal with it anymore and stopped all together.

One aspect of the messages I received about God was if you were to sin and didn’t repent, you were going to burn in Hell for all eternity. That just did not sit well with me considering it went against the flip side that God is all forgiving and all loving. Which was it? Also considering I was told that we all sin. I felt as if I’m being told, we all sin but then you go to Church, give them money, repent, be forgiven for your sins and go home to start all over again. What? It made my head spin! Giving 10 percent of your money is called a tithe donation as an offering. But then what I was seeing was these mammoth churches that resembled a mall with a book store and cafe. How was that helping anyone?

The messages during the sermon were almost scary and I felt uncomfortable sitting in an energy that did not feel right to me. Over the years, the sermons were directed more towards the topic of the day and forcing the church goers to follow their ideals or be smitten by God. Each church had their own interpretation of Bible verses. They were portrayed in a way that would suit their agenda. Let’s consider the different versions of the Bible. Why are there such a thing? Why would the Bible have a need to be rewritten over time? Consider the possibility that it is done so to suit the ideals of the time it was rewritten. I will write another blog about the stories within the Bible to expand the possibilities of the true occurrences. It has been a very eye-opening revelation to say the very least and quite honestly, far more believable! For the sake of the message I’m sharing here, I don’t want to dilute it.

Who is God? Who was Jesus?
I dove into figuring it out in 2022 because it felt important to understand all this. Believing that God uses smitting against those who did not worship him, tithed to a church once a week and repented for their sins did not sit well in my heart. And that we were to wear our crosses as trinkets around our necks, bow at the feet of the statue of Jesus on a cross while praying for forgiveness for our sins confused me. And the threat that we will burn in Hell for all eternity to be quite frank is horrible! It all left me feeling no matter what I did, I’m a horrible sinner that will never live up to being someone that could go to heaven. How is that a way to live? Especially from a loving God? And did Jesus die on a cross so we could be threatened and live in fear of never living up to some expectations from a church that changes the messages from a Bible that has been rewritten many times over the centuries?

I may seem to be giving you many questions to consider in this blog, but I believe we each have our own journey to discover. I am hoping it sparks an interest and set you on your own path because who am I in the scheme of things right? Why should you just take what I say? My goal here is to open you up to possibilities to start asking questions and not just accept what is being handed to you on a platter. Including a collection plate.

Today, I am feeling more at ease in my spirituality because I believe God is not some bearded man sitting on a throne in the clouds casting judgment on all those who sin. I believe God is “Unconditional Love.” God does not allow bad things to happen on this Earth. We, as humans, are given free will. With this free will, we make choices. These choices lead us on learning paths whether for the good or for the bad. It is largely believed in the spiritual communities that we are living in a Hell with our existence on Earth. We can create whether our existence is that of Hell or Heaven by our free will choices.

God, as unconditional love, will love us no matter what because we are learning. Jesus was put on this Earth as an example to all of us. Made in His image. Jesus is who we all can be. We should all have love in our hearts because through this, we show compassion towards others. We then are able to make free willed choices that lead us on our journey’s to personal purpose. Jesus was an example of sharing love to others. The ability to heal is within all of us as it was in Jesus. So, why is this not understood and believed today? Fear!

Fear is the lowest vibration, with Love being the highest. When you vibrate on a low level, you don’t believe all things are possible for you. People are easily controlled when their whole existence is fear-based. You stay stuck. The concept of the Devil was brought in to invoke that fear in all. Imagine if you truly understood the power of thought. If all of us understood that we can create the world we all want by believing God is unconditional love, there is no Hell, and the devil does not exist? There are those on this Earth that want the control. They want you to believe that you need them to exist and to flourish on this planet or bad will become of you. I, personally, did not and do not want to believe any of that is true. Thus the reason why I dove into the possibilities out there to create an existence for myself in love not fear.

Since adopting the understanding of these views, my depression and anxiety have left. I don’t feel a constant ache in my chest riddled with fear of everything. I understand I can create a life of love and know that God is not there to smite me for my choices. Lining up my choices with love in my heart, keeps me on a journey of helping others, showing love not hate. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is not to say that bad things don’t happen! Or, that I don’t get upset. But, I am able to view life in a different light. Others do not have the power to change my energy because I have God’s unconditional love on my side.

This is only the beginning of my journey on understanding all of this and there is so much more I can share. But, I hope this starts a path of questions for you to not just accept what you are told. Go out there and start seeking answers for yourself. Love and light is out there for all of us. God’s love is there, and the ability to heal is ours. What do you have to lose in asking? This journey for me has been more than eye-opening. It has been healing. Each of us is welcomed on this path and please feel free to start an open dialogue.

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Topics

Meditation, but I Feel Silly!

Pamela

Meditation. It was something I just could not do. My mind races with random thoughts so much that bringing myself down to a quiet space was always impossible. I also was under the impression that meditation was saying “Ommm” while sitting on a mountain wearing all white. I believe that is what everyone thinks it is, and so you never give it a try. Life is just too busy, and having time to sit with oneself is at the bottom of the to-do list. Does this ring true with you? I have a sneaky suspicion that you are nodding your head, yes. One doesn’t need to be a psychic to see that!

Let me be the first to tell you. Take everything you believe meditation is and is not and throw it out the window. Also, throw out the misconception that you are going to be able to ever meditate. It is very possible for you and the most important aspect is, it is more beneficial than you think! It relieves stress and brings you into the moment by quietening your mind. Gives you a sense of calmness in this crazy rat race we live in today. It balances your emotional well-being and your overall health. It helps you learn to stay centered, keep inner peace, and promote self-love.

In the beginning of my meditation journey, it was very frustrating. I am the type of person who would have thoughts running rampant throughout my head. Just imagine words floating all over the place and nothing really connecting or making sense. Random, unrelated thoughts racing Nascar speeds. It would get me to the point of completely shutting down and not functioning. Even taking a nap or having a drink to slow it all down. Neither option is viable long-term. If you are shaking your head yes because you completely understand, then you need to keep on reading. Racing thoughts can cause so much confusion and stress, which in turn causes your body to react in negative ways. Imagine spiraling down to earth. Eventually, you will hit bottom.

Spiraling down is no way to live. I promise you that. Neither is resorting to substances or sleeping life away in a depressive slump. You have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. The only way I was able to slow down thoughts and start repairing my brain’s reaction to stress in my life was and is through meditation. Meditation helps heal old thought programs. It has been scientifically proven to rewire your brain. I believed that having C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) was something I just had to deal with the rest of this life. That it is scarring of the brain, and that’s it. I have recently learned that through deep mediation, quietening the brain helps spark new wires in your brain and heal the ones broken. I had lived in such high stress levels for so long that I was stuck in high-alert mode. Always on edge for the threat even if there was none. This explanation is bringing it all down to a very basic level. I’m not a scientist, so I’m not putting in a bunch of details and dropping the end results on you.

How my meditations in the beginning went are quite comical. At the time, frustrating is a more appropriate word, but looking back, it was comical. I would feel silly and embarrassed. My thoughts raced around so much that I just felt like I was watching a train wreck in my head. What if someone sees me. Am I doing this right? Where do I put my hands? Oh yeah, breath! I held my breath because I was so tense from judging myself so harshly through the whole thing. I would last about 5 minutes if I was lucky. I would judge myself so badly and get sick of thinking so much that I gave up on it.

I dove into watching videos on meditation to see what I was doing wrong. I learned very quickly that there is no right or wrong way to meditate. Meditation didn’t even have to be me sitting there with my legs crossed painfully and my eyes closed. Closing my eyes was an issue. I never felt safe closing them. Even when I went to church, I couldn’t close my eyes during prayer. I felt like something would happen to me. It was all part of my high-stress levels and always on alert. So, let’s talk about what mediation looks like.

Meditation is anything you do while quietening your mind! It is that simple. You can do it while taking a bath, doing the dishes, painting, going for a walk, and vacuuming the house. It is putting yourself in the moment. Not thinking about everything you have to do, the bills, work, the narcissist in your life, etc. It is stopping everything, going within you, and moving those thoughts aside. Be in the moment with what you are doing. Now, it will be very difficult at first. But it is VERY important not to judge yourself. If a thought breaks through, let it come in and then go out. Don’t think any further about it. Don’t fight it or get frustrated over it. Let it float in, the float out.

You are probably wondering, like I did. How do you stop all thoughts? As you practice, you will find that fewer and fewer thoughts will break through. You will start to focus more on your breathing and what you are doing. Start filling the space with positive affirmations. Whether you believe them or not in the beginning. I am enough. I am a great Mother/Father. I deserve peace. I love myself as I am. And just keep breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Picture the air entering you. On the exhale, release any bad thoughts or beliefs you have about yourself.

Eventually, you will see that it becomes easier and easier to do. You will stop racing thoughts and be more focused. The positive thoughts will become your reality. The time you can sit with yourself in peace will extend longer. Keep in mind, do not judge your process or progress at any time. This is a learned behavior and takes time to accomplish. You will begin to love and look forward to these moments. Light a candle. You can use it to focus on if closing your eyes is difficult for you like it was for me. I say was because I can close them now. Get some incense that you love and burn them. It can help bring you in the moment by focusing on the beautiful smells.

Take a few moments today and sit with yourself for just a minute. Concentrate on your breathing in and out slowly. Let the thoughts come in, then float away. Give them no attention. Place your hand on your heart and say, “I am enough.” It is a great starting point, and I promise you that you will want to learn more like I did and get excited about your quiet moments. I also promise that the “I feel silly” aspect will go away because it will feel so wonderful! Go ahead and give it a try! If you have any further thoughts or questions, feel free to contact me.

General Thoughts

What you think about, you bring about

Pamela

The power of thought is so overlooked and underestimated. What you tell yourself and what you focus on every day is exactly what will be placed in front of you. It becomes the pathway for your existence and your path in life. What I always say could not be more true! “What you think about, you bring about.”


So how can thought form what you see in life or what happens in your life? Let’s use the Nissan Xterra example. OK, sounds silly but stay with me. I had to get a vehicle and had to get one fast. I had to get what I could get because manifestation was not a part of my life yet. At the car lot, I came across a Nissan Xterra. Never heard of it and had never seen one before. Well, now that I have one, I see them everywhere! Even in the small town I live in! How does that happen? They were there the whole time, but I had no clue of their existence so I never saw them. But now, I have one and so my mind realizes they are everywhere!

So, let’s take that a step further. If you focus on having a job you hate, and never having a good life, that is all you will see. You will miss the many opportunities available to you because you don’t see any of them as possibilities for you. You don’t know they exist. Just like my Nissan Xterra! Changing your life is going to only begin when you start changing your mindset. Start believing all things are possible for you and only focus on the things you want in your present and future. My other favorite saying is, “If your dreams don’t scare you, you aren’t dreaming big enough!”

For any of your big dreams to come true, you have to know with every cell in your body that they are possible for you. You cannot stay in your limited beliefs. Even if nothing is where you want it to be today. I know it gets disheartening and you will feel like it’s not working at some point, but those big ideals are not going to fall into your lap until the universe feels you are ready to take care of them. You have to keep pushing forward and learn the lessons in life.

How do you begin to change your mindset I hope is the question you are asking yourself at this point. The very beginning of my journey consisted of listening to inspirational and motivational speakers on YouTube. Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Eric Thomas, and Mel Robbins to name just a few. Find who really speaks to you heart. Les Brown was the one that really hit home for me and started changing how I think. It may be different for you and that’s perfectly ok!

I’m sure you have heard that timing is everything, right? The first 20 minutes after you wake up is the most important time for your thought formation. It sets the pace and mood for your entire day. Have the video or audio you plan on listening to ready to go first thing in the morning. I always have them going while I get ready. And for the tough days, I put them on a big speaker I have and blast it loud. There was no missing the message there!

At this point, I have trained my brain to constantly want to learn. To grow. Watching TV is now at the bottom of my list of things to do, unless I’m learning something. I enjoy working on myself. Most of all, I enjoy learning messages to pass along to others for their journeys. It has become my purpose in this life.

Be sure to follow all my social media accounts and podcasts to start and continue your journey and keep up to date on new things happening. I am always on an inspired tract to learn and feel it is my duty to pass it along to help others. I would love to have you join me along the way and help you change how you feel about yourself and your life. The work is completely worth the effort and so are you! So let’s get going!