If I were to ask you what happiness is, what would your answer be? Or when do you think you will be happy? Before reading this, post below your answer. And after reading, post a reply to how your thoughts about it have changed. I’m so curious to hear if your ideas are parallel to mine.
My emotions have always been what I equate to as a rollercoaster ride. Ups, downs, and sideways while screaming along the way. I believed that one day “I’ll be happy when…” It was attached to something or someone. Happiness was this time far away where everything that I imagined would create a happy life would happen. And BAM, I’m happy! Well, along the way, nothing ever seemed right and happiness would never befall me. Something would be out of place and not as I pictured. Or, I would achieve soemthing and realize, wait, I don’t feel happy. What happened??!!
Do you feel like you are in a rat race chasing the feeling of happy? Always creating a vision and picturing what your life would look like in order to be happy? That magic day where everything is sunshine and roses?? Well, I’m here to burst the bubble of your vision of achieving happiness. Sorry! I had to learn it the hard way and I am here to hopefully save you the trouble of searching and searching and searching for it.
So what is not the epitome of happiness. It is not attached to material things like a big house, a fancy car, or nice clothes. A lot of money in the bank isn’t going to bring you true happiness either. I’ve met the most miserable rich people and on the flip side, the happiest homeless people. How about finding the perfect job, or the love of your life? Nope, not there either. Only if I could go sit on the beach with a margarita in my hand and that will be just perfect. I’m sure we have all pictured that with a smile on our face.
Of course all these things will bring you joy, smiles, and laughter. You will feel happy in the moment, but what is the problem with this? And yes, there is a problem with it. Life happens and it isn’t always pretty. We have lessons at every point of our lives and all these materialistic things can be gone in a moments notice. And then what? You jump back on that emotional rollercoaster ride and back on the search again.
The basis of true happiness is simply within you. When you can sit in an empty room all by yourself and feel joy, you have achieved it. Even when nothing seems right and everything is wrong, you can still have love, joy and peace in your heart. That happiness is everlasting. You will become better equipped to handle the down times. You will keep your smile and be able to laugh. Don’t get me wrong, we will have times of sadness, anger, grief and just break down and cry. But you don’t stay there and your happy is still attainable in your heart. It isn’t attached to anything fleeting. I accept these emotions and feel them but I still have a lightness in my heart and know down deep I have love for myself and life. When I have processed my feelings, I’m good.
How do you get to this point I’m sure is your next question. I had to understand that I had to let go of things that I cannot control. There are times in your life when something goes wrong, but you ask yourself, is there anything I can do to stop this? Can I control the outcome of this situation? If the answer is no, then you deal with it and don’t attach your overall feelings to it. Let it be. Keep your love for life and take it as a life lesson. I’ve had times of being close to losing my home or my car. Rather than falling into deep despair, I still had lightness in my heart and focused on the things I could do to get through it. Years before when I did lose my house and had nowhere to go, I would break down to the point of not accomplishing anything and caused me to snowball out of control into depression and Anorexia Nervosa as ways to cope. I later learned, that wasn’t working and realized the universe has always provided for me. I look at everything now as my path of lessons and times when I am being pushed out of a comfortable situation, I know it is because more is out there for me.
Your past and your future are big issues in a persons overall happiness. Worrying about either causes anxiety and fear. Both are low vibrations and the universe will not provide for you in those states because it doesn’t match your full potential. Your human existence is about life lessons and if you aren’t learning from these and keeping love in your heart, you will not following your life purpose. When I am able to let go of my past and be in the moment, I feel happiness. Love is the highest vibration and where the universe provides for you. I put my focus in all I want to achieve and no matter what happens, I feel joy, love, and true happiness. Life feels so much lighter. I do not feel like I have a huge bolder on my shoulders holding me down. I don’t stress and become overwhelmed with anxiety and fear. Fear is the thief of joy.
Let go and let be. Be in the moment. I know it sounds impossible, but shifting your mindset and understanding of what brings true happiness is worth the work. Understanding there is a time to let go of the past because we cannot change it, only learn from it. And the future will be laid out for you when you are in the moment with love in your heart. Your path will open for you. Stop attaching the “I will be happy when” to everything. Happiness is a CHOICE. Every day you wake up, you make the choice to be happy despite what the day brings. You also never give others the power to change how you feel. To steal your joy. If you allow the ugliness of others steal your joy, then it is YOU allowing it! Making these changes in your life, you will begin to see you make better choices for yourself. You will want to take care of you because you love yourself. This practice is so freeing and uplifting!
Here are two things you can do to start bringing yourself into the moment of now and working on your mindset. It is work, but well worth it. No one can make you do these things. You have to want it for yourself. Let me know how it goes for you and what changes you make in your life.
- Every day, have a motivational speech ready to play as soon as you wake up. The firsts 20 minutes of your day set up your mindset for how your day goes. There are wonderful motivational speakers and inspirational podcasts on YouTube. While getting ready for your day, play one.
- Start meditating! I cannot stress this one enough. Meditation brings you into the “Now.” Brings you into the moment. You are not thinking about the past and not worrying about the future. If quiets your mind and helps heal your soul. Again, YouTube has wonderful guided meditations. I am working to provide some for you in the near future so be sure to follow my YouTube channel. Also read my blog about meditation.
These are wonderful ways to begin your journey in healing! Listening to motivational/inspirational speeches is honestly how it all began for me. Even the days I just didn’t feel like it. I did it anyway. Today, I rarely watch tv and have replaced it by playing meditational music, Native American flute music, nature sounds or sound baths. It brings me peace. And in peace there is happiness.
It will not happen overnight. Begin your journey with kindness towards yourself. Allow yourself to feel the emotions you have been avoiding in order to process them and free yourself from any and all judgements. Just don’t stay in those down moments. It’s ok to cry, get angry, feel the disappointments and hurt. By letting go, you will be a step closer to peace in your life. It is work, but it is the most gratifying work you will ever do and you will thank yourself for it!
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