Month: February 2023

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Signs: The Universe Speaks

Pamela

Signs are all around us. We just normally shrug them off as coincidences. Even if the coincidence makes us wonder if it was more than that, it’s discarded anyway. When a loved one passes away, we want to connect to them so badly or many times we plead for guidance but don’t understand how to “hear” the reply. After reading the following, start paying attention to your surroundings. What is happening is not a mere coincidence. They are signs and messages from your ancestors, spirit guides, angels, or the universe. A whole new world will open up for you if you only take a moment, with an open mind, and see what can only be seen and understood with an understanding that there is more to our existence.

Have you ever been nudged to look at the time and see 11:11, 2:22, or 4:44? Or start to notice that another number keeps appearing repetitively? Did you know these are what is called “Angel Numbers.” These sequences of numbers have meanings, and it’s the Universe giving you guidance that you are on the right path, or you need to watch your thoughts and keep them positive. Maybe a big change is coming your way. It’s not just by chance you are seeing these numbers. They are signs given to you to help guide you on your journey in this life. If I’m ever doubting myself, I start seeing these patterns, letting me know to keep going. Or my loved ones are watching over me. Since my Dad passed away in March 2022, I see 757, which is the area code of where we were born and raised. I know he is sending me this number to let me know that he is around me, watching over me. Next time you see a number repetitively, look up what that angel number means. You will be surprised that it lines up with what is going on in your life.

I mentioned the number 757 and it being a sign from my Dad. Past loved ones send all sorts of signs to you. My son who passed away in 1996 sends me ladybugs. This is because he would try to save them in the house by putting them outside. One day, I opened the back door, and all these ladybugs were laying on the steps. He had good intentions, but being only 3 years old, he accidentally squashed them. A song from John Cougar Mellencamp comes on for my Uncle Spencer because he always reminded me of him because of how he danced. And I can’t forget my dear Granny. She always sang Amazing Grace, and that song will come on out of nowhere, or I will just start singing it. I know she is around. I remember once, my family and I were approaching my sons grave, and all of a sudden, a bunch of butterflies flew into the sky from it. It was something you would see in a movie. But we knew it was Jason saying hello. Ever have a dream of your loved one. That is another way they will visit you. They are all only a thought away. Talk to them anytime you need because they are listening. Then, keep your eyes and ears open for the responses. My heart melts, and I smile every time I get a beautiful sign.

I still get amazed by this one. It’s when the universe speaks to you. I never understood why nothing was working for me in life. Why, no matter how hard I tried, everything I did just wouldn’t work. Until one day I found out, it wasn’t working because it wasn’t my path to take. When you are on the right path, everything just lines up. I had been questioning lately about the path I’m on because I felt, well, if it’s the correct one, why is it not making a living for me? I was nudged to watch a program out of the blue, and in this program, it said, “Sometimes your path is not how you make a living.” You have a job that pays for you to do what is your purpose. The universe answered a question I had, and again, I sat there in amazement. I was beginning to feel I was failing at something again. Another example is when I recently wrote a blog here about meditation. That afternoon, during one of my Tiktok lives, the guests in the live event were asking questions about meditation. They didn’t see this blog, and yet the universe prepared me to talk about it and all that I learned in writing the piece. When you don’t question these random nudges and follow your intuition, you will be amazed how it all lines up with purpose. Or it could line you up for lessons too!

The universe speaks to you and gives you guidance in life to set you on a path. But as I’ve written about previously, we have free will and make our own choices. I lean towards listening to my inner voice these days because it sends me on the right path. These are guiding signs, but keep in mind, they aren’t always what you want, but what you need. Like, have you ever been running late for work and hit every light along the way. But then when you get further up the road, there was an accident. If you made every light and was running on time, it could have been you. Does that ring a bell for you? I know it has many times over. So I don’t get upset anymore when I hit those lights.

I could probably write a book on this topic. I’m sure there has to be one out there somewhere. There are so many examples I could give to prove my point. But, honestly, you probably won’t believe me until you start seeing it for yourself. Begin writing down the numbers you see. Think about something that reminds you of a loved one and see if all of a sudden, it appears. Ask the universe a question and pay attention to the things put in front of you. When you get a random thought, don’t just push it aside. Truly think about the possible significance of it in relation to what is happening in your life. You will be amazed by the fact that these are signs, not mere coincidences in your life.

I would love to hear about the signs you have seen in your journey. Whether they are life nudges or sweet hellos from your loved ones. I am still in awe of them all.

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Meditation, but I Feel Silly!

Pamela

Meditation. It was something I just could not do. My mind races with random thoughts so much that bringing myself down to a quiet space was always impossible. I also was under the impression that meditation was saying “Ommm” while sitting on a mountain wearing all white. I believe that is what everyone thinks it is, and so you never give it a try. Life is just too busy, and having time to sit with oneself is at the bottom of the to-do list. Does this ring true with you? I have a sneaky suspicion that you are nodding your head, yes. One doesn’t need to be a psychic to see that!

Let me be the first to tell you. Take everything you believe meditation is and is not and throw it out the window. Also, throw out the misconception that you are going to be able to ever meditate. It is very possible for you and the most important aspect is, it is more beneficial than you think! It relieves stress and brings you into the moment by quietening your mind. Gives you a sense of calmness in this crazy rat race we live in today. It balances your emotional well-being and your overall health. It helps you learn to stay centered, keep inner peace, and promote self-love.

In the beginning of my meditation journey, it was very frustrating. I am the type of person who would have thoughts running rampant throughout my head. Just imagine words floating all over the place and nothing really connecting or making sense. Random, unrelated thoughts racing Nascar speeds. It would get me to the point of completely shutting down and not functioning. Even taking a nap or having a drink to slow it all down. Neither option is viable long-term. If you are shaking your head yes because you completely understand, then you need to keep on reading. Racing thoughts can cause so much confusion and stress, which in turn causes your body to react in negative ways. Imagine spiraling down to earth. Eventually, you will hit bottom.

Spiraling down is no way to live. I promise you that. Neither is resorting to substances or sleeping life away in a depressive slump. You have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. The only way I was able to slow down thoughts and start repairing my brain’s reaction to stress in my life was and is through meditation. Meditation helps heal old thought programs. It has been scientifically proven to rewire your brain. I believed that having C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) was something I just had to deal with the rest of this life. That it is scarring of the brain, and that’s it. I have recently learned that through deep mediation, quietening the brain helps spark new wires in your brain and heal the ones broken. I had lived in such high stress levels for so long that I was stuck in high-alert mode. Always on edge for the threat even if there was none. This explanation is bringing it all down to a very basic level. I’m not a scientist, so I’m not putting in a bunch of details and dropping the end results on you.

How my meditations in the beginning went are quite comical. At the time, frustrating is a more appropriate word, but looking back, it was comical. I would feel silly and embarrassed. My thoughts raced around so much that I just felt like I was watching a train wreck in my head. What if someone sees me. Am I doing this right? Where do I put my hands? Oh yeah, breath! I held my breath because I was so tense from judging myself so harshly through the whole thing. I would last about 5 minutes if I was lucky. I would judge myself so badly and get sick of thinking so much that I gave up on it.

I dove into watching videos on meditation to see what I was doing wrong. I learned very quickly that there is no right or wrong way to meditate. Meditation didn’t even have to be me sitting there with my legs crossed painfully and my eyes closed. Closing my eyes was an issue. I never felt safe closing them. Even when I went to church, I couldn’t close my eyes during prayer. I felt like something would happen to me. It was all part of my high-stress levels and always on alert. So, let’s talk about what mediation looks like.

Meditation is anything you do while quietening your mind! It is that simple. You can do it while taking a bath, doing the dishes, painting, going for a walk, and vacuuming the house. It is putting yourself in the moment. Not thinking about everything you have to do, the bills, work, the narcissist in your life, etc. It is stopping everything, going within you, and moving those thoughts aside. Be in the moment with what you are doing. Now, it will be very difficult at first. But it is VERY important not to judge yourself. If a thought breaks through, let it come in and then go out. Don’t think any further about it. Don’t fight it or get frustrated over it. Let it float in, the float out.

You are probably wondering, like I did. How do you stop all thoughts? As you practice, you will find that fewer and fewer thoughts will break through. You will start to focus more on your breathing and what you are doing. Start filling the space with positive affirmations. Whether you believe them or not in the beginning. I am enough. I am a great Mother/Father. I deserve peace. I love myself as I am. And just keep breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Picture the air entering you. On the exhale, release any bad thoughts or beliefs you have about yourself.

Eventually, you will see that it becomes easier and easier to do. You will stop racing thoughts and be more focused. The positive thoughts will become your reality. The time you can sit with yourself in peace will extend longer. Keep in mind, do not judge your process or progress at any time. This is a learned behavior and takes time to accomplish. You will begin to love and look forward to these moments. Light a candle. You can use it to focus on if closing your eyes is difficult for you like it was for me. I say was because I can close them now. Get some incense that you love and burn them. It can help bring you in the moment by focusing on the beautiful smells.

Take a few moments today and sit with yourself for just a minute. Concentrate on your breathing in and out slowly. Let the thoughts come in, then float away. Give them no attention. Place your hand on your heart and say, “I am enough.” It is a great starting point, and I promise you that you will want to learn more like I did and get excited about your quiet moments. I also promise that the “I feel silly” aspect will go away because it will feel so wonderful! Go ahead and give it a try! If you have any further thoughts or questions, feel free to contact me.

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What is Reiki?

Pamela

What exactly is Reiki, and how does it help me?  Over the years, I had heard of it, but never knew exactly what it was and what it did.  2022 was a year of self-discovery and finally diving into all the things that have been calling to me my whole life.  It sat in the back of my mind, nudging me to do something about it.  Leaving me wondering why nothing else was working out for me when I put my everything into it.  Well, nothing was falling into place until I gave in, and Reiki healing was one of them.

The basic definition of Reiki is that it is Universal Life Force Energy.  “Rei” means universal, and “ki” means vital life force.  I had wondered my whole life how you could just throw some bones, organs, and skin together and achieve a personality? Or how can the act of having these become a functioning being?  I have always felt there was much more than this.  Something more was at bay that makes all this work. 

All living things have a vital life force, including humans, animals, and plants.  It has a frequency, and it is different for everyone and moves up and down with your moods, emotions, and, not surprisingly, your spiritual development.  The frequencies are high vibrations and low vibrations.  The highest of vibrations are enlightenment and love.  The lowest, guilt, and shame.  I can understand guilt and shame being the lowest because when we are riddled with it, it affects every aspect of our lives, from moods to the decisions we make.

When we align and balance our Chakras, and I’ll briefly explain this later, we vibrate at higher levels.  This leads to feeling better and wanting to make better decisions that set us on the path of happiness and purpose.  When we are out of balance, it starts to affect how we feel emotionally and physically.  We become sluggish, depressed, and start to show physical symptoms throughout our bodies, depending on which Chakra is off-balance.  You will hear the term “blocked” by some, but I personally believe it sets a negative thought that is unnecessary.  Focusing on the positive opts for better outcomes.

What is a Chakra?

In Sanskrit, the word “chakra” means “disk” or “wheel” and refers to the energy centers in your body. These wheels or disks of spinning energy each correspond to certain nerve bundles and major organs. To function at their best, your chakras need to stay open or balanced.  The 7 main Chakras are Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown.  Stress and anxiety are two of the most common reasons for out of balance Chakra’s.  When I started focusing on meditation and opening my Chakra’s, I began to feel lighter.   Reiki realigns and balances each one. Energy flows freely through the chakras, harmonizing your body, mind, and spirit.  When the energy flow is interrupted,  it can cause specific mental, physical, and spiritual problems.

Who can receive Reiki?

Treatment can be received by anyone, anywhere, anytime.  Reiki healing sessions can be performed on unborn babies, children, and adults of all ages.  Healing is not just limited to humans. Pets can benefit from it, too!  As a Reiki practitioner, I can send good energy on the roads ahead of me, projects I’m working on, or manifesting things in my life for the greater good.  The following are some benefits, as stated from the International Association of Reiki Professional website:

  • Reiki’s calming effects can reduce our anxieties and panicky behavior.
  • It may go to the core of imbalances embedded within our bodies to bring about balance.
  • Pain, stresses, and agitations that are associated with long-term suffering can benefit from cumulative Reiki treatments.
  • Reiki can be safely used in conjunction with all other conventional health practices.
  • Reiki offers the kind of energetic vitality that can spark our innate creativity.
  • Reiki’s ability to awaken and sharpen our psychic perceptions heightens awareness of our dreams.
  • Blessing our foods and drinks with Reiki before consuming them will vitalize and purify them.
  • Reiki’s gentle energies are conducive to comforting anyone who is suffering from grief. It helps the grief process run its course in a calmer or less painful way.
  • Reiki tames discord and trouble, bringing harmony to the recipient or situation that is out of sync.
  • The swiftness of Reiki’s healing properties has demonstrated that it is an effective first-aid treatment for injuries.
  • Reiki will treat emotional wounds and memories that are hurting our inner child.
  • Reiki assists us in letting go of the aspects within our lives that negatively impact us.
  • The manifesting facets of Reiki help to bring our intentions and goals to fruition.
  • Reiki can expedite the body’s natural healing ability reducing the recovery periods that follow surgeries and injuries.
  • Reiki’s relaxing energies can induce sleep and relieve insomnia.
  • Using Reiki may awaken or improve spiritual awareness.
  • Reiki releases toxins. clearing our bodies of impurities and stagnant energies.
  • Reiki will penetrate beyond obvious systematic conditions of the body and treat the underlying causes of illness.
  • Reiki can help you deal with special situations in your life such as exams, job interviews, divorce, career changes, and family illness.

I am offering Distant Reiki Sessions that will show which of your 7 main Chakra’s are out of balance, and I will focus on realigning them.  This is performed in a session off camera, and then I will record a video explaining what I found, the realigning outcome, and guided suggestions.  Video’s are uploaded privately to YouTube, and only you will have the link.  You may keep it to yourself or share with trusted family and friends.  But it will stay there as long as YouTube is around.

My plan at a later date is to offer in-person sessions locally in Tennessee.  The session will not only be for people, but pets of all shapes and sizes will be included. If you have an event or space locally and are interested in offering Reiki, feel free to contact me. Be sure to sign up for my newsletter to keep up to date when these are available.

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My Story of Loss and Grief

Pamela

October 1, 1996 is the morning that became the catalyst for years of mental anguish and personal torment. It was the morning I found my son had died. He was 3 years, 5 months and 8 days old. Jason was born with a Diaphragmatic Hernia that was repaired. We were told over and over we would never have to worry about his surgery. The words, “He can grow up to be a football linebacker!” was told to us by his surgeon. Well, that wasn’t true because after telling them many times over something just wasn’t right, I have a morning burned into my vision for all of this lifetime. It took only 36 hours from the onset of symptoms to me finding him. He developed scar adhesions that herniated his stomach and poisoned his body. I became a heartbroken shell that had to function for the sake of his two older brothers.

There are 5 stages of grief and you can move through them at different times and in different order. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. One can experience multiple stages at the same time and go back and forth through each of them. Everyone experiences grief in their own way and there is no time-frame attached. As long as you cope in a way that it’s harmful to you and you are moving through it, not being stagnant. There are many wonderful articles online written in detail about these stages so I won’t go into detail here.

I found out quickly so many judge you based on how long your grieve or the length it is taking you to move along. I won’t get into the many comments made that some felt were supposed to be helpful and were far from it. Jason’s Dad and I grieved completely different and with this came much turbulence in our relationship. Studies have shown that women and men grieve in their own styles and I was very much on the male spectrum and he was on the female. Males are typically very quiet, don’t want to talk about it all, look put together and like they are handling it all like a champ. Women on the other hand talk about it a lot, are outward with their emotions, and seen to breakdown. I didn’t want to talk about any of it. I had to keep moving since I had Jason’s brothers to take care of and that was my main focus. The way I handled it was inward towards myself. Jason’s Dad wanted to always talk about it, go to Bereaved Parents groups, would break down crying. Bereaved Parent’s groups were WAY too much for me. Being a highly sensitive empath, I felt each and every persons grief and pain. I could not deal with any of it. My advice to anyone grieving, be gentle with yourself, grieve how you need to, and just politely thank others for their concern but their opinion on how you handle it is none of their business. Harsh sounding maybe, but no one has the right to coach you on your journey through it.

For me, the first 5 years are a complete blur. I only remember bits and pieces which is my body’s way of protecting itself. I was diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, Major Anxiety, and Anorexia Nervosa. I was, to be quite honest, a total mess! It took another 5 years to get on a level of progressing forward and now after 25 years, I’m at peace with myself. So, as you see, time-frame limits are not part of this journey.

The major obstacle I had to work on was kicking myself for what happened to my son. The “I should have done this. I should have done that’s.” It took years to finally realize that judging my actions at that moment in time with the knowledge I later had was unfair. If I had all the information I had today, different decisions would have certainly been made. You can not take every thing you know today and process your actions in that moment and pass judgement on yourself in the past or beat yourself up over it. If you are doing that…. stop it!

Now I’m going to tell you about the days leading up to Jason’s passing on a whole different level. Especially considering what I have learned over time. This is looking at it with a spiritual vision and how the universe was at play. I waitressed second shift at the time and his Dad put him to bed at night. His Dad told me 2 weeks prior that Jason kept acting afraid to go to bed. Mentioning seeing monsters. He also insisted on saying “Goodbye” rather than goodnight and it all didn’t make sense. His Dad refused to say goodbye and it was goodnight. Jason would yell back goodbye.

The night of Jason’s passing, I decided I was going to bring my son to the doctors office in the morning even though they said it wasn’t necessary. The doctors advice wasn’t sitting right with me. While Jason was laying in our bed, out of nowhere, he sat up, looked at the side of the bed, said hi and waved. He proceeded to lay back down and go to sleep. As the night went on, one of his brothers started having nightmares and needed one of us to be with him. So, his Dad fell asleep in his room. It was like forces were at play to separate us. We all went to sleep, and I found my son, hiding from the “monsters” under my bed. It was too late.

This is where I had a horrible time of why didn’t I wake up when he moved out of bed? I would be lying if I said the thought doesn’t overtake me to this day. But looking back at everything that happened with my beliefs regarding the other side today, it was inevitable and his time to go in this lifetime. Jason was an old soul, full of life and I miss him more than words can say. He sends me ladybugs, or yadygugs as he called them, to me to let me know he is around.

Our loved ones are around us anytime we need them. You just need to think about them, talk to them. They hear you. Keep an eye open for signs they are reaching out. It could be a favorite song, a bird, a ladybug, or an animal. For Jason, it’s a ladybug. My Dad shows me the number 757, the area code where we were born and raised. A song from John Cougar Mellencamp for my Uncle Spencer. You may feel a brush on your cheek, a tap on your shoulder, your name out of nowhere. It still hurts they aren’t here physically to pick up a phone and call them, but I feel better knowing they are still there when I need them. Just in a different way.

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Why Intuitive Girl with Blue Eyes?

Pamela

OK, I know this name is probably not all that creative and may sound like something I just through together but there is actually something to it. I fought with myself thinking I should change it to something catchy and more eye appealing. Considering for over 20 years I’ve been a web and graphic designer dealing with marketing, I should do better. To be honest, I’m still fighting with my designer self to change it. Have you ever heard the saying that a plumbers house leaks, a mechanics car runs terrible? I’m more focused I guess on the content than the aesthetics.

I could flip the coin and say that I just went with the basics in describing myself. I’ve always felt I was intuitive. Reading people and their intensions seems to come naturally for me. Empath was certainly a candidate also as I am a high sensitive one. But I didn’t want to focus on the aspect of me that was more than likely sculpted by all the years of mental and physical abuse. Intuitive is defined as “using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive.” Part of my journey is diving deep into my subconscious mind to heal the scars formed over the years and reprogram myself in a more positive light. I rely on my intuitiveness and am learning to trust it more and more as many messages come from my guides and ancestors.

The girl part of my name is pretty basic and self explanatory. Not a big stretch of my imagination there. Neither is Blue Eyes. But there is something behind it. After of years of dealing with Anorexia Nervosa and making hating myself a full-time job, the one thing I could always say I liked about me were my blue eyes. It’s the one thing over the years I had nothing horrible to say about them and it was the first thing to begin my journey of self-love.

Intuitive Girl with Blue Eyes is the starting place of a journey of self-love. Love being the highest vibration, I felt it was the place to begin the work on myself. So far, I am happy with my progress because I have come a very long way. I can look at this name and know, this is me and I’m happy. Everyone needs a solid foundation to build upon, and whether or not this name is aesthetically pleasing or graphically appealing doesn’t really matter. I’ll run with love and happiness as my first choice.