I knew the physical aspects of yoga were going to be challenging. I deal with trauma related aches and pains displaying as lower back pain and arthritis. I also realize I battle with my own self with thoughts that do not serve me. This will be a journey of self-discovery and a lot of inner work. It is a test of my will and determination. I will not give up because I understand the long term benefits both physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Part of my “shadow work” is my desire to finish things quickly. Always feeling I need to hit the finish line now. I believe this comes from being held down not only by others, but by my own false beliefs. These false beliefs came with a very low self-esteem which lead to the act of comparison which of course steals your joy and so my inner work will consist of getting rid of that desire because they only stop me from achieving my own passions and purpose in life.
I have signed up for online courses through Yogamu Institute. I have set goals for myself and will stay the course. I will understand these goals will not happen overnight and they are part of a spiritual journey. I have finished my 100HR Meditation Teacher course so far and working towards my 200HR. In the meantime, I have also began my Yoga courses. (Kundalini is also in my future as these will all work together beautifully.)
This will be my true test by keeping my focus forward, with positivity, joy, and love of self. It has been a hard journey up to now but I can tell you one fact – it has been well worth it!
Be sure to follow me on all my social media accounts to stay up to date and to join me in online live classes in the near future!
These two are big ones! Nothing changes unless something changes! You can’t just wish for things to be better in your life. You have to change what is your normal to something unfamiliar. Here are a few things to start shaking up what is not working for you.
Remove limited beliefs of what is possible for you. The world we live in tells you every day that this or that isn’t possible. The Universe has a great abundance in line for you and it is greater than what you would ever fathom for yourself. But, unfortunately, society hammers into your head every day limited possibilities. They fill television programs and news channels with, to put quite bluntly, crap. This sludge they feed you subconsciously keeps you in a fear state. When we are in that fear state, we are unable to believe anything is truly possible for us to accomplish. I personally have removed watching any news channels. There are so many wonderful things happening in the world but the news feeds you nothing but horrific events. They might sprinkle a bit of happy here and there to offer you a glimmer of hope, but overall, it keeps you in the lowest vibration, fear. I don’t watch the news. I’ve removed any social media groups or accounts that promote nothing but hatred and fear mongering. I watch programs that will align me to a better life and keep me in a state of learning and broadening my mind. If you remove these outlets from your life, you will begin to see a difference in your overall state of being.
Challenge your thoughts. Question if they are true. I had to do this quite a bit because I was horrible to myself. When I started to get my hands dirty and challenge whether those thoughts were true of me, I realized I was self-sabotaging myself out of fear of the unknown. I began to work on removing all negative self-talk and replacing it with motivating statements that were in line with my potential. I reprogrammed the word failure from a negative incantation to a stairway to positive change. Failure is nothing more than lessons. All successful people have failed on their journey. They just said, well, that didn’t work. Let’s try something else. Remove the ideal that good things only happen to others. Replace it with, good things are possible for me. Even if your path is littered with failures, you are perfecting your craft and moving towards your purpose.
Do you see a pattern here? That challenging your thoughts and replacing them on a subconscious level with positive ones, you will begin to pave the way to your purpose. Living in fear, and hatred for yourself, will only keep you down. What do you have to lose by changing your subconscious thoughts? I began to see that only positive came out of it. Even if things I want in life didn’t hit my doorstep tomorrow, at least I felt happier, lighter, and I could see the world was slowly opening up for me. The possibilities are lining up as I make positive changes in my being. That my free will choices are lining me up to my purpose and the things I see and want, I know they are possible for me. I don’t turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms that slow me down. I ask myself, will this choice align me with my purpose?
I also open myself up to see messages from my guides being placed in front of me. When something just isn’t working out, it is because it isn’t the right path. If I feel uneasy in a situation, it is not for me. When you open your intuitiveness to possibilities, you will begin to see, hear and feel patterns that are nudging you. Your guides will never tell you what to do. It is your lesson and your free will choices, but they will nudge you now and then especially when asked for help.
Now go out there and commit yourself to redirecting your limited beliefs in yourself and what is possible for you. Start challenging those negative thoughts you have about yourself because you are a beautiful energy living in this existence. Why not make it the best ever?!
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Signs are all around us. We just normally shrug them off as coincidences. Even if the coincidence makes us wonder if it was more than that, it’s discarded anyway. When a loved one passes away, we want to connect to them so badly or many times we plead for guidance but don’t understand how to “hear” the reply. After reading the following, start paying attention to your surroundings. What is happening is not a mere coincidence. They are signs and messages from your ancestors, spirit guides, angels, or the universe. A whole new world will open up for you if you only take a moment, with an open mind, and see what can only be seen and understood with an understanding that there is more to our existence.
Have you ever been nudged to look at the time and see 11:11, 2:22, or 4:44? Or start to notice that another number keeps appearing repetitively? Did you know these are what is called “Angel Numbers.” These sequences of numbers have meanings, and it’s the Universe giving you guidance that you are on the right path, or you need to watch your thoughts and keep them positive. Maybe a big change is coming your way. It’s not just by chance you are seeing these numbers. They are signs given to you to help guide you on your journey in this life. If I’m ever doubting myself, I start seeing these patterns, letting me know to keep going. Or my loved ones are watching over me. Since my Dad passed away in March 2022, I see 757, which is the area code of where we were born and raised. I know he is sending me this number to let me know that he is around me, watching over me. Next time you see a number repetitively, look up what that angel number means. You will be surprised that it lines up with what is going on in your life.
I mentioned the number 757 and it being a sign from my Dad. Past loved ones send all sorts of signs to you. My son who passed away in 1996 sends me ladybugs. This is because he would try to save them in the house by putting them outside. One day, I opened the back door, and all these ladybugs were laying on the steps. He had good intentions, but being only 3 years old, he accidentally squashed them. A song from John Cougar Mellencamp comes on for my Uncle Spencer because he always reminded me of him because of how he danced. And I can’t forget my dear Granny. She always sang Amazing Grace, and that song will come on out of nowhere, or I will just start singing it. I know she is around. I remember once, my family and I were approaching my sons grave, and all of a sudden, a bunch of butterflies flew into the sky from it. It was something you would see in a movie. But we knew it was Jason saying hello. Ever have a dream of your loved one. That is another way they will visit you. They are all only a thought away. Talk to them anytime you need because they are listening. Then, keep your eyes and ears open for the responses. My heart melts, and I smile every time I get a beautiful sign.
I still get amazed by this one. It’s when the universe speaks to you. I never understood why nothing was working for me in life. Why, no matter how hard I tried, everything I did just wouldn’t work. Until one day I found out, it wasn’t working because it wasn’t my path to take. When you are on the right path, everything just lines up. I had been questioning lately about the path I’m on because I felt, well, if it’s the correct one, why is it not making a living for me? I was nudged to watch a program out of the blue, and in this program, it said, “Sometimes your path is not how you make a living.” You have a job that pays for you to do what is your purpose. The universe answered a question I had, and again, I sat there in amazement. I was beginning to feel I was failing at something again. Another example is when I recently wrote a blog here about meditation. That afternoon, during one of my Tiktok lives, the guests in the live event were asking questions about meditation. They didn’t see this blog, and yet the universe prepared me to talk about it and all that I learned in writing the piece. When you don’t question these random nudges and follow your intuition, you will be amazed how it all lines up with purpose. Or it could line you up for lessons too!
The universe speaks to you and gives you guidance in life to set you on a path. But as I’ve written about previously, we have free will and make our own choices. I lean towards listening to my inner voice these days because it sends me on the right path. These are guiding signs, but keep in mind, they aren’t always what you want, but what you need. Like, have you ever been running late for work and hit every light along the way. But then when you get further up the road, there was an accident. If you made every light and was running on time, it could have been you. Does that ring a bell for you? I know it has many times over. So I don’t get upset anymore when I hit those lights.
I could probably write a book on this topic. I’m sure there has to be one out there somewhere. There are so many examples I could give to prove my point. But, honestly, you probably won’t believe me until you start seeing it for yourself. Begin writing down the numbers you see. Think about something that reminds you of a loved one and see if all of a sudden, it appears. Ask the universe a question and pay attention to the things put in front of you. When you get a random thought, don’t just push it aside. Truly think about the possible significance of it in relation to what is happening in your life. You will be amazed by the fact that these are signs, not mere coincidences in your life.
I would love to hear about the signs you have seen in your journey. Whether they are life nudges or sweet hellos from your loved ones. I am still in awe of them all.
What exactly is Reiki, and how does it help me? Over the years, I had heard of it, but never knew exactly what it was and what it did. 2022 was a year of self-discovery and finally diving into all the things that have been calling to me my whole life. It sat in the back of my mind, nudging me to do something about it. Leaving me wondering why nothing else was working out for me when I put my everything into it. Well, nothing was falling into place until I gave in, and Reiki healing was one of them.
The basic definition of Reiki is that it is Universal Life Force Energy. “Rei” means universal, and “ki” means vital life force. I had wondered my whole life how you could just throw some bones, organs, and skin together and achieve a personality? Or how can the act of having these become a functioning being? I have always felt there was much more than this. Something more was at bay that makes all this work.
All living things have a vital life force, including humans, animals, and plants. It has a frequency, and it is different for everyone and moves up and down with your moods, emotions, and, not surprisingly, your spiritual development. The frequencies are high vibrations and low vibrations. The highest of vibrations are enlightenment and love. The lowest, guilt, and shame. I can understand guilt and shame being the lowest because when we are riddled with it, it affects every aspect of our lives, from moods to the decisions we make.
When we align and balance our Chakras, and I’ll briefly explain this later, we vibrate at higher levels. This leads to feeling better and wanting to make better decisions that set us on the path of happiness and purpose. When we are out of balance, it starts to affect how we feel emotionally and physically. We become sluggish, depressed, and start to show physical symptoms throughout our bodies, depending on which Chakra is off-balance. You will hear the term “blocked” by some, but I personally believe it sets a negative thought that is unnecessary. Focusing on the positive opts for better outcomes.
What is a Chakra?
In Sanskrit, the word “chakra” means “disk” or “wheel” and refers to the energy centers in your body. These wheels or disks of spinning energy each correspond to certain nerve bundles and major organs. To function at their best, your chakras need to stay open or balanced. The 7 main Chakras are Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown. Stress and anxiety are two of the most common reasons for out of balance Chakra’s. When I started focusing on meditation and opening my Chakra’s, I began to feel lighter. Reiki realigns and balances each one. Energy flows freely through the chakras, harmonizing your body, mind, and spirit. When the energy flow is interrupted, it can cause specific mental, physical, and spiritual problems.
Who can receive Reiki?
Treatment can be received by anyone, anywhere, anytime. Reiki healing sessions can be performed on unborn babies, children, and adults of all ages. Healing is not just limited to humans. Pets can benefit from it, too! As a Reiki practitioner, I can send good energy on the roads ahead of me, projects I’m working on, or manifesting things in my life for the greater good. The following are some benefits, as stated from the International Association of Reiki Professional website:
Reiki’s calming effects can reduce our anxieties and panicky behavior.
It may go to the core of imbalances embedded within our bodies to bring about balance.
Pain, stresses, and agitations that are associated with long-term suffering can benefit from cumulative Reiki treatments.
Reiki can be safely used in conjunction with all other conventional health practices.
Reiki offers the kind of energetic vitality that can spark our innate creativity.
Reiki’s ability to awaken and sharpen our psychic perceptions heightens awareness of our dreams.
Blessing our foods and drinks with Reiki before consuming them will vitalize and purify them.
Reiki’s gentle energies are conducive to comforting anyone who is suffering from grief. It helps the grief process run its course in a calmer or less painful way.
Reiki tames discord and trouble, bringing harmony to the recipient or situation that is out of sync.
The swiftness of Reiki’s healing properties has demonstrated that it is an effective first-aid treatment for injuries.
Reiki will treat emotional wounds and memories that are hurting our inner child.
Reiki assists us in letting go of the aspects within our lives that negatively impact us.
The manifesting facets of Reiki help to bring our intentions and goals to fruition.
Reiki can expedite the body’s natural healing ability reducing the recovery periods that follow surgeries and injuries.
Reiki’s relaxing energies can induce sleep and relieve insomnia.
Using Reiki may awaken or improve spiritual awareness.
Reiki releases toxins. clearing our bodies of impurities and stagnant energies.
Reiki will penetrate beyond obvious systematic conditions of the body and treat the underlying causes of illness.
Reiki can help you deal with special situations in your life such as exams, job interviews, divorce, career changes, and family illness.
I am offering Distant Reiki Sessions that will show which of your 7 main Chakra’s are out of balance, and I will focus on realigning them. This is performed in a session off camera, and then I will record a video explaining what I found, the realigning outcome, and guided suggestions. Video’s are uploaded privately to YouTube, and only you will have the link. You may keep it to yourself or share with trusted family and friends. But it will stay there as long as YouTube is around.
My plan at a later date is to offer in-person sessions locally in Tennessee. The session will not only be for people, but pets of all shapes and sizes will be included. If you have an event or space locally and are interested in offering Reiki, feel free to contact me. Be sure to sign up for my newsletter to keep up to date when these are available.
October 1, 1996 is the morning that became the catalyst for years of mental anguish and personal torment. It was the morning I found my son had died. He was 3 years, 5 months and 8 days old. Jason was born with a Diaphragmatic Hernia that was repaired. We were told over and over we would never have to worry about his surgery. The words, “He can grow up to be a football linebacker!” was told to us by his surgeon. Well, that wasn’t true because after telling them many times over something just wasn’t right, I have a morning burned into my vision for all of this lifetime. It took only 36 hours from the onset of symptoms to me finding him. He developed scar adhesions that herniated his stomach and poisoned his body. I became a heartbroken shell that had to function for the sake of his two older brothers.
There are 5 stages of grief and you can move through them at different times and in different order. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. One can experience multiple stages at the same time and go back and forth through each of them. Everyone experiences grief in their own way and there is no time-frame attached. As long as you cope in a way that it’s harmful to you and you are moving through it, not being stagnant. There are many wonderful articles online written in detail about these stages so I won’t go into detail here.
I found out quickly so many judge you based on how long your grieve or the length it is taking you to move along. I won’t get into the many comments made that some felt were supposed to be helpful and were far from it. Jason’s Dad and I grieved completely different and with this came much turbulence in our relationship. Studies have shown that women and men grieve in their own styles and I was very much on the male spectrum and he was on the female. Males are typically very quiet, don’t want to talk about it all, look put together and like they are handling it all like a champ. Women on the other hand talk about it a lot, are outward with their emotions, and seen to breakdown. I didn’t want to talk about any of it. I had to keep moving since I had Jason’s brothers to take care of and that was my main focus. The way I handled it was inward towards myself. Jason’s Dad wanted to always talk about it, go to Bereaved Parents groups, would break down crying. Bereaved Parent’s groups were WAY too much for me. Being a highly sensitive empath, I felt each and every persons grief and pain. I could not deal with any of it. My advice to anyone grieving, be gentle with yourself, grieve how you need to, and just politely thank others for their concern but their opinion on how you handle it is none of their business. Harsh sounding maybe, but no one has the right to coach you on your journey through it.
For me, the first 5 years are a complete blur. I only remember bits and pieces which is my body’s way of protecting itself. I was diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, Major Anxiety, and Anorexia Nervosa. I was, to be quite honest, a total mess! It took another 5 years to get on a level of progressing forward and now after 25 years, I’m at peace with myself. So, as you see, time-frame limits are not part of this journey.
The major obstacle I had to work on was kicking myself for what happened to my son. The “I should have done this. I should have done that’s.” It took years to finally realize that judging my actions at that moment in time with the knowledge I later had was unfair. If I had all the information I had today, different decisions would have certainly been made. You can not take every thing you know today and process your actions in that moment and pass judgement on yourself in the past or beat yourself up over it. If you are doing that…. stop it!
Now I’m going to tell you about the days leading up to Jason’s passing on a whole different level. Especially considering what I have learned over time. This is looking at it with a spiritual vision and how the universe was at play. I waitressed second shift at the time and his Dad put him to bed at night. His Dad told me 2 weeks prior that Jason kept acting afraid to go to bed. Mentioning seeing monsters. He also insisted on saying “Goodbye” rather than goodnight and it all didn’t make sense. His Dad refused to say goodbye and it was goodnight. Jason would yell back goodbye.
The night of Jason’s passing, I decided I was going to bring my son to the doctors office in the morning even though they said it wasn’t necessary. The doctors advice wasn’t sitting right with me. While Jason was laying in our bed, out of nowhere, he sat up, looked at the side of the bed, said hi and waved. He proceeded to lay back down and go to sleep. As the night went on, one of his brothers started having nightmares and needed one of us to be with him. So, his Dad fell asleep in his room. It was like forces were at play to separate us. We all went to sleep, and I found my son, hiding from the “monsters” under my bed. It was too late.
This is where I had a horrible time of why didn’t I wake up when he moved out of bed? I would be lying if I said the thought doesn’t overtake me to this day. But looking back at everything that happened with my beliefs regarding the other side today, it was inevitable and his time to go in this lifetime. Jason was an old soul, full of life and I miss him more than words can say. He sends me ladybugs, or yadygugs as he called them, to me to let me know he is around.
Our loved ones are around us anytime we need them. You just need to think about them, talk to them. They hear you. Keep an eye open for signs they are reaching out. It could be a favorite song, a bird, a ladybug, or an animal. For Jason, it’s a ladybug. My Dad shows me the number 757, the area code where we were born and raised. A song from John Cougar Mellencamp for my Uncle Spencer. You may feel a brush on your cheek, a tap on your shoulder, your name out of nowhere. It still hurts they aren’t here physically to pick up a phone and call them, but I feel better knowing they are still there when I need them. Just in a different way.
The power of thought is so overlooked and underestimated. What you tell yourself and what you focus on every day is exactly what will be placed in front of you. It becomes the pathway for your existence and your path in life. What I always say could not be more true! “What you think about, you bring about.”
So how can thought form what you see in life or what happens in your life? Let’s use the Nissan Xterra example. OK, sounds silly but stay with me. I had to get a vehicle and had to get one fast. I had to get what I could get because manifestation was not a part of my life yet. At the car lot, I came across a Nissan Xterra. Never heard of it and had never seen one before. Well, now that I have one, I see them everywhere! Even in the small town I live in! How does that happen? They were there the whole time, but I had no clue of their existence so I never saw them. But now, I have one and so my mind realizes they are everywhere!
So, let’s take that a step further. If you focus on having a job you hate, and never having a good life, that is all you will see. You will miss the many opportunities available to you because you don’t see any of them as possibilities for you. You don’t know they exist. Just like my Nissan Xterra! Changing your life is going to only begin when you start changing your mindset. Start believing all things are possible for you and only focus on the things you want in your present and future. My other favorite saying is, “If your dreams don’t scare you, you aren’t dreaming big enough!”
For any of your big dreams to come true, you have to know with every cell in your body that they are possible for you. You cannot stay in your limited beliefs. Even if nothing is where you want it to be today. I know it gets disheartening and you will feel like it’s not working at some point, but those big ideals are not going to fall into your lap until the universe feels you are ready to take care of them. You have to keep pushing forward and learn the lessons in life.
How do you begin to change your mindset I hope is the question you are asking yourself at this point. The very beginning of my journey consisted of listening to inspirational and motivational speakers on YouTube. Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Eric Thomas, and Mel Robbins to name just a few. Find who really speaks to you heart. Les Brown was the one that really hit home for me and started changing how I think. It may be different for you and that’s perfectly ok!
I’m sure you have heard that timing is everything, right? The first 20 minutes after you wake up is the most important time for your thought formation. It sets the pace and mood for your entire day. Have the video or audio you plan on listening to ready to go first thing in the morning. I always have them going while I get ready. And for the tough days, I put them on a big speaker I have and blast it loud. There was no missing the message there!
At this point, I have trained my brain to constantly want to learn. To grow. Watching TV is now at the bottom of my list of things to do, unless I’m learning something. I enjoy working on myself. Most of all, I enjoy learning messages to pass along to others for their journeys. It has become my purpose in this life.
Be sure to follow all my social media accounts and podcasts to start and continue your journey and keep up to date on new things happening. I am always on an inspired tract to learn and feel it is my duty to pass it along to help others. I would love to have you join me along the way and help you change how you feel about yourself and your life. The work is completely worth the effort and so are you! So let’s get going!
