This is only the beginning of a journey of knowledge and understanding….
This is going to be a touchy subject that will shake many people. In polite conversations, you leave out subjects about politics and religion. But, because I am digging deep into the meaning of life, I feel the need to rattle some cages. This isn’t an attempt to change your mind, tell you that your way of thinking is all wrong. It is only, hopefully, a thought-provoking conversation. I believe life is exciting because of the questions we ask. Not only in the answers we find.
Although I have been questioning religion for years, especially after the death of my son in 1996, it has only been the last year that I have discovered a whole new outlook on everything. Many aspects of religion did not sit well with me on many levels, so I have felt driven to understand it all on a whole new level.
I grew up going to church with my Granny. We went to the Salvation Army church in Norfolk, Va. I enjoyed the classroom studies of all the Bible stories and, even at a young age, loved the giving nature surrounding me. They were very driven to help others in any way possible. Once in middle school, I stopped attending church and did not go again until I was married and with children up in Connecticut. Everything felt different at that point. The messages weren’t the same, and everything seemed more agenda based or self-serving. After my son passed away, I quite honestly became bitter toward God and anything to do with Church. Between the changes in their message delivery and the horrible letdown I felt with the death of my 3 year old son, I just couldn’t deal with it anymore and stopped all together.
One aspect of the messages I received about God was if you were to sin and didn’t repent, you were going to burn in Hell for all eternity. That just did not sit well with me considering it went against the flip side that God is all forgiving and all loving. Which was it? Also considering I was told that we all sin. I felt as if I’m being told, we all sin but then you go to Church, give them money, repent, be forgiven for your sins and go home to start all over again. What? It made my head spin! Giving 10 percent of your money is called a tithe donation as an offering. But then what I was seeing was these mammoth churches that resembled a mall with a book store and cafe. How was that helping anyone?
The messages during the sermon were almost scary and I felt uncomfortable sitting in an energy that did not feel right to me. Over the years, the sermons were directed more towards the topic of the day and forcing the church goers to follow their ideals or be smitten by God. Each church had their own interpretation of Bible verses. They were portrayed in a way that would suit their agenda. Let’s consider the different versions of the Bible. Why are there such a thing? Why would the Bible have a need to be rewritten over time? Consider the possibility that it is done so to suit the ideals of the time it was rewritten. I will write another blog about the stories within the Bible to expand the possibilities of the true occurrences. It has been a very eye-opening revelation to say the very least and quite honestly, far more believable! For the sake of the message I’m sharing here, I don’t want to dilute it.
Who is God? Who was Jesus?
I dove into figuring it out in 2022 because it felt important to understand all this. Believing that God uses smitting against those who did not worship him, tithed to a church once a week and repented for their sins did not sit well in my heart. And that we were to wear our crosses as trinkets around our necks, bow at the feet of the statue of Jesus on a cross while praying for forgiveness for our sins confused me. And the threat that we will burn in Hell for all eternity to be quite frank is horrible! It all left me feeling no matter what I did, I’m a horrible sinner that will never live up to being someone that could go to heaven. How is that a way to live? Especially from a loving God? And did Jesus die on a cross so we could be threatened and live in fear of never living up to some expectations from a church that changes the messages from a Bible that has been rewritten many times over the centuries?
I may seem to be giving you many questions to consider in this blog, but I believe we each have our own journey to discover. I am hoping it sparks an interest and set you on your own path because who am I in the scheme of things right? Why should you just take what I say? My goal here is to open you up to possibilities to start asking questions and not just accept what is being handed to you on a platter. Including a collection plate.
Today, I am feeling more at ease in my spirituality because I believe God is not some bearded man sitting on a throne in the clouds casting judgment on all those who sin. I believe God is “Unconditional Love.” God does not allow bad things to happen on this Earth. We, as humans, are given free will. With this free will, we make choices. These choices lead us on learning paths whether for the good or for the bad. It is largely believed in the spiritual communities that we are living in a Hell with our existence on Earth. We can create whether our existence is that of Hell or Heaven by our free will choices.
God, as unconditional love, will love us no matter what because we are learning. Jesus was put on this Earth as an example to all of us. Made in His image. Jesus is who we all can be. We should all have love in our hearts because through this, we show compassion towards others. We then are able to make free willed choices that lead us on our journey’s to personal purpose. Jesus was an example of sharing love to others. The ability to heal is within all of us as it was in Jesus. So, why is this not understood and believed today? Fear!
Fear is the lowest vibration, with Love being the highest. When you vibrate on a low level, you don’t believe all things are possible for you. People are easily controlled when their whole existence is fear-based. You stay stuck. The concept of the Devil was brought in to invoke that fear in all. Imagine if you truly understood the power of thought. If all of us understood that we can create the world we all want by believing God is unconditional love, there is no Hell, and the devil does not exist? There are those on this Earth that want the control. They want you to believe that you need them to exist and to flourish on this planet or bad will become of you. I, personally, did not and do not want to believe any of that is true. Thus the reason why I dove into the possibilities out there to create an existence for myself in love not fear.
Since adopting the understanding of these views, my depression and anxiety have left. I don’t feel a constant ache in my chest riddled with fear of everything. I understand I can create a life of love and know that God is not there to smite me for my choices. Lining up my choices with love in my heart, keeps me on a journey of helping others, showing love not hate. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is not to say that bad things don’t happen! Or, that I don’t get upset. But, I am able to view life in a different light. Others do not have the power to change my energy because I have God’s unconditional love on my side.
This is only the beginning of my journey on understanding all of this and there is so much more I can share. But, I hope this starts a path of questions for you to not just accept what you are told. Go out there and start seeking answers for yourself. Love and light is out there for all of us. God’s love is there, and the ability to heal is ours. What do you have to lose in asking? This journey for me has been more than eye-opening. It has been healing. Each of us is welcomed on this path and please feel free to start an open dialogue.
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